| Dreams |
[06 Jan 2010|12:51pm] |
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I had a dream last night
that I was hanging out with you at bard,
and things had really changed.
Everyone seemed very immature, and we
were riding in the back of a yellow school bus,
and Conrad Gluck [it's Cluck] peed on me
and everyone else for fun.
I wasn't having the best time out at parties,
and I had been peed on,
so we went back to your apartment
which was in a building bigger than
the schoolhouse!
when we got there, we walked through
the grasses, and found a deer
just outside of your place,
lying on the ground.
You reached down to touch it and
it wimpered because it's
shoulder was broken, and you
started to cry. Then you ran into
your house and I shouted at you
that we could call Woodstock Animal
hospital, but then you fired a rifle
through the glass of a tiny window upstairs,
and ended her suffering.
-Ian, my boyfriend, this morning.
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[25 May 2008|11:42am] |
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music |
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a little bit of rain- karen dalton |
] |
Note to self:
Never drink and climb up a wall in flip flops, especially when you can't see shit.
I have a 3 inch gash running up the side of my foot that hurts like hell.
It's pretty deep in the center, and I could have had two or three stitches.
Charles carried me to his bathroom with blood running down my foot and all over his hands.
He cleaned it with scalding hot water and a shit load of alcohol, which I'm surprised I couldn't feel.
All I wanted to do was to go home and have a drink with my Dad and have him clean it.
Matt drove me home and my Dad was excited to see me. I showed him my foot and he laughed and said I was a true Rendon now: drunk and bleeding from somewhere.
It bled through my bandages and sock, and now I can feel how much it hurts.
Hooray for alcohol.
I'm a gimp at my own party. I WALK WITH A LIMP 'AIGHT?
Oh PS there's tons of blood on my rainbows. Bad ass!
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[12 Jan 2008|05:56pm] |
GET A FUCKING PERSONALITY.
I'm losing hope in humanity.
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[25 Oct 2007|09:29pm] |
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I have officially applied to college. It's all in their hands now.
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[25 Jun 2007|10:02am] |
There's an "unknown" number that calls me every other morning at 3 AM.
When I pick up, they hang up.
It's starting to piss me off, and I can't call it back.
On the bright side, I have the car all week. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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[23 Jun 2007|02:26pm] |
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Straight A's niggaaaa
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| The Birthday |
[11 Jun 2007|03:53pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
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music |
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Gang of Four |
] |
YES!
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[02 May 2007|11:30pm] |
oh! and:
I'LL BE HOME THIS WEEKEND
AND MARA FUCKING DAWN I MUST SEE YOU.
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| days like these |
[02 May 2007|11:27pm] |
I want a Fermata tattooed on me. Upon something delicate.
and eventually the outline of a wild mare.
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[07 Feb 2007|10:31pm] |
chewing apples,
illuminating days,
hard work,
y-o-u.
beginnings. COLD.
"There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing."
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| yes |
[03 Jan 2007|02:45am] |
"When I was away, I met this guy named Free Joseph...and he was like a rasta guy and after talking with him for about an hour he changed my entire view on life.... he spoke every word with a smile and his voice was so soft and worry free. He took his time with every word but it was still hard to understand him because of his accent. I asked him what his religion was and he said he just loves people and loves life... and you could tell he just lived perfectly comfortable in the way he saw the world... I'm just kinda telling you this cause just being near him made everything about life so happy and calm. He made me feel like no one could hurt me because only the beautiful happy things count... he made life seem so simple that I was strong enough to take on everyday with out a worry... so yeah I was kinda hoping just telling you that could make you feel a little stronger too."
-Kyle Allen, my best friend's boyfriend, ridding me of my doubt.
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[18 Oct 2006|09:21pm] |
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Life is more beautiful than ever. I am so terribly happy; I catch my face hurting from smiling most of the time. Autumn is here, it's back with a bang. Busy mornings and afternoons lead me to restful and inspiring dreams.
I adore how my friends just mesh. It was so effortless how everything just fell into place this weekend. My friends have made new friends with my old friends, and every where I look there is love.
I'm playing a Nocturne by Liszt, and I love when my boyfriend takes photographs of us (cough, and me). I found myself in Armonk the first time in three years.
I HAVE RECEIVED THE MOST THOUGHTFUL GIFTS THIS YEAR.
I HAVE RECEIVED THE MOST GENUINE GIFTS THIS YEAR.
I hope everyone else is enjoying this season as much as I am. Take some time out of your day to just take a walk, or just STOP for a minute and take a look around. The vibrancy of the world's colors will haunt you.
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[26 Sep 2006|06:38pm] |
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Why am I always sick? Why do I crave such spicy food when I'm sick?
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| ew ew ew ew no |
[19 Sep 2006|10:09pm] |
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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
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| This is for Jesse |
[23 Aug 2006|01:07am] |
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music |
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i can hear him snoring |
] |
Indian summer is coming (already here?).
I awake with frozen skin and chilled bones, under mountains of crisp blankets.
The breeze here dances through the screens.
It smells of salt and it's comforting. The sounds of these crickets have become a lullaby.
The 'nugget' (russ's nickname for t) just came over and licked my toes. I had a wonderful visit with him (the dog). We walked to the pond once again and I threw a ball, a stick, a treat, anything, and laughed as he pounced through the water.
He is afraid of the water at times, but a treat will always quickly change his mind.
Grandma spoke with me about Dad. I smiled, and refused to hold back the tears. I just let them come and come and come. I've seen every angle of her face, she speaks only with her lower lip, surprisingly, in such a beautiful way.
My family plants my roots and paints me wings.
They won't shut the fuck up about JonBenet.
Jesse, you changed my life, I love you for that.
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[20 Aug 2006|11:12pm] |
It's pouring for the second night in a row. The rain is so loud and powerful that I can't hear my grandparents talking in the next room anymore. Thunder strikes.
I miss everyone who loves me at home. I wish all of you could experience the beauty of this magnificent place. I want to hold each and every one of you and tell you to feel alive more than ever, that I'm happy that they're in my life, and that I love you.
Cam, Adam, and I had an epiphany yesterday morning; I was terribly hung over. Cooper played me his audition piece which brought me to tears.
I spent my evening listening to Turandot, Pagliacci, La Boheme, Rachmaninoff, Buena Vista and various Argentinian musicians with my grandfather. He's beginning to struggle with his words; he stumbles in and out of spanish at times, but he is truly the most incredible man I have ever known. He held me for over two hours and whispered how proud he was of me in spanish. (I had to ask him what he was saying). As we came across Chopin, and I was tapping my fingers in sequence against his thighs, I told him I was going to be a pilot. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and he turned to me, smiled, and said: "That sounds like a lovely idea."
In April he had told me the story of when he was 16 in Ecuador and learned to fly a plane for the first time. He told me that it is better than sex and any other magnificent feeling on this earth. We were silent for a minutes, and he would laugh again at how wonderful of an idea I had. For my birthday this year, I will learn how to fly. I will call him, and thank him for being such a kind and gentle influence on my life and how much I love him. At 80 years old, he still flies his airplane and pressures that I only learn to fly at first on a Cessna 150...
The rain is dying down now.
I am proud to say that I am no longer lonely nor afraid to feel.
August is approaching it's conclude. At the start of this month I worried that I hadn't learned anything this summer. I can now look back on, smile, and look forward to September.
September.
September.
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